Wednesday, August 31, 2011

My Self Esteem Needs Constant Maintenance... Even Today

I kinda sorta go back and forth with the whole idea of this blog. Part of me wants to use this as a tool to speak positive and optimism over my life and the things I want to accomplish. But then I want to keep it real and be upfront about myself and how I feel. I'm torn... well whatever...

Last time I checked I was about 240 something pounds. I'm not proud of that weight. I'm not proud that I rock a size 18 at 5'2. It seems that I am just not able to control my weight. I look at other smaller people and wish I could have that gene that keeps people from packing on the weight.. I mean I believe there is such a gene... right?!?!

But one thing I can say is that I have accepted my size and the arduous task that I must work extra hard to control my weight. This does weigh heavy on my self esteem. I think the worst feeling that attributes to the wavering self gratitude is the fact that I want to get to a smaller size so bad, but I just can't seem to "get it" like most people. I haven't mastered the art of weight maintenance like most everyone else. And that makes me feel like people are looking at me and saying, "Wow, she has no self discipline". I care a lot what others think because they do pass judgment based off of personal appearance.

As a part of my life goals I have written goals in order to keep my self esteem from becoming low. In addition to working out and eating right I have also included a few objectives to help me in the personal appearance department.

#1--Everytime I get my paycheck I have to buy myself 2 outfits.
So I have learned that when you look great, you feel great. It took a while to understand what types of clothes flatter my figure well, but once I got the general science down, shopping became fun. Trying different pieces and style variations really stirred up an appreciation for myself. Also it is important for me to stay with current trends and adapt them to my personal style. I've realized in order for me to remain competitive with my peers I need to keep my wardrobe fresh and updated. Staying relevant with today's trends go a long way when constantly meeting new people. People judge you by what you look like. I've realized that an unkempt appearance can be an obstacle while making new friends and establishing a business rapport with new clients. I've decided to never let my personal appearance be the first roadblock to success.

#2--Everytime I get my paycheck I have to get the dawgs all pretty.
And by dawgs I mean the toes. There is something to say about getting your feet done and then showing them off in sandals. It makes me feel pretty. Its like by taking time to do something for me, I instantly feel important, and feel I require special handling. This is an incredible feeling.

My hair doesn't have to be Hollywood Glam, but it definitely has to be presentable. I believe the easiest thing to do to make you look a million bucks is to get a hairstlye that looks great. Don't go out with your hair in ponytails all the time. It works with some looks, but with others it looks lazy. I realized that a nice updoo with jeans and a simple black tee can make you look fab instantly. Just think about it and try it out.

Well these tips work for me... I'm always looking for simple ways to just boost my esteem a little. I swear, once I stopped looking to everyone else to make me happy and started paying attention to what I looked like and how I enjoyed my time, life started becoming a little more exciting!!

MUAH!!! Kisses to the wind... someone will bring em back!


  1. I feel what you're saying. I have my days when I feel so confident and I have those days where I feel pretty low. I'm trying to find ways to work myself through the low days so reading your 3 objectives really helped. Thanks for sharing them =)

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